LGBTQIA+ Pride Month 2023: Vince Lombardi, A Man Before His Time

In the second edition of LGBTQIA+ Pride Month of 2023 (the first one can be viewed here), we will discuss Vince Lombardi’s creation of a safe space for gay men in the NFL—a place where there were not and are not many of them.

As is typical for my writing, we will be exalting a man in football for doing the bare minimum of civility in an environment where that was radical and often very difficult to do.

Vince Lombardi?

Ya, you know that one head coach and GM of the Green Bay Packers for the majority of the 1960s? Debatably the greatest coach in NFL history? Him. Before we talk about Lombardi’s contributions to the world of football, let’s dive into his origin story a bit.

Coach Vincent Thomas Lombardi was born in Sheepshead Bay in 1913 to Italian immigrant parents Enrico and Matilda. Little Vince was the oldest of five children; his siblings were Madeleine, Harold, Claire, and Joe. Enrico Lombardi was a successful entrepreneur who was able to keep his family afloat during the Great Depression with his barbershop and meat-packing business.

Little Vince was raised in a diverse, middle-class family of dedicated Catholics. Although Lombardi had a warm family and community support, he could only be shielded so much from the anti-Italian discrimination that occurred in New York City (and everywhere else in the US).

Funny enough, Vince Lombardi wasn’t great at football. He wasn’t athletically gifted and had poor eyesight. That didn’t keep him from attending the University of Fordham in the Bronx. His coach was Jim Crowley, one of the Four Horsemen of Notre Dame. In his senior year, Lombardi would play through a hit that resulted in a huge gash and rid him of several of his teeth.

Vincent’s coaching career was born from a need for stable pay during the Depression. He began coaching high school in 1939, moved on to college, and then joined the NFL in 1954.

In his personal life, Vince was a multi-faceted guy. He had three constants: faith, football, and family. His family life was complicated. He married his wife, Marie Planitz, in 1934. Was Marie’s stockbroker dad happy that her daughter was marrying an Italian immigrant from a meat-packing family? Surprisingly, no. Turns out she had her doubts, too; after one week of marriage, she said she had made the greatest mistake of her life. The beginning of a beautiful life.

Marie Planitz was married to a yelling perfectionist with an authoritarian nature and a fiery temper. Part of Vincent Lombardi’s dedication to his faith was his ability to keep his temper from completely flaring. Apparently, Mrs. Lombardi developed the ability to dress her husband down verbally in response to his frequent verbal abuse.

Unfortunately, Vince and Marie had a miscarriage. As a result, Marie hit the bottle, and she hit it hard. Her husband’s snuggly disposition probably didn’t help her habit. They would later have two children, Vince Jr. and Susan. Lombardi would pray daily, seeking to keep his temper and his wife’s penchant for alcohol in check.

As if the couple weren’t already at odds, they were also on opposite ends of the political spectrum. Lombardi was a democratic, liberal guy who somehow caught the attention of Richard Nixon as a potential running mate. Nixon was probably meant to run with Mrs. Lombardi; she was very Republican. If someone were to be a fly on the wall in the marriage home of those two, they would probably go deaf from the yelling.

Vince Lombardi passed away from cancer in 1970 at age 57 after a several-year battle with digestive tract problems he would ignore, not following through on his doctor’s recommended health screenings.

We could fill an encyclopedia with all of his incredible contributions to the world of football, but in this article, we are going to focus on his inclusive spirit as a head coach.

Vince Lombardi’s Inclusiveness

Lombardi’s unusual level of inclusiveness on his team is likely the result of a few things. One thing was that he wasn’t a terrible person. That’s the primary reason. According to his daughter, Susan, his own experience in the world generally and in the NFL, specifically as a dark-skinned Italian, made him sensitive to discrimination. He would instill acceptance in his family.

Vincent’s brother Harold was gay, and this may have contributed to his sensitivity to discrimination based on sexual orientation in the league. He detested the concept of “tolerance” and was pained and angered over the hate that gay men experienced. He felt equally upset by racism. As a result, his team became a safe place for everyone.

Coach Lombardi wasn’t playing games with intolerance. He threatened to give players the boot if they said anything racist or homophobic anywhere, at any time. A player couldn’t be hateful in his off-time, either. It wasn’t an empty threat either; players did get the can for this. Not only did Lombardi accept gay players, he actively sought them out in a league he knew was hostile to them. Coach Vincent specifically told everyone on the team that no comments about any homosexual player’s manhood would be allowed; they would no longer be Packers if they did.

There are a few specific gay players and executives that Vince Lombardi is known to have embraced and encouraged. It is important to note that very few men in the league of yesteryear ever came out as gay, and many are now dead, so they cannot speak for themselves. Speculation about sexuality can be hurtful, so the intention is never to portray someone wrongly. No person’s sexuality will be spoken about without basis, although stories from other players in the LGBTQIA+ community will be considered supporting evidence.

Ray McDonald

Ray McDonald would have a short career, playing for Washington for two seasons, 1968–1969. He was the Washington team’s first-round pick, 13th overall, in 1967. Lombardi got him on the team post-arrest, but between the controversy surrounding his lifestyle and being injury-prone, he didn’t last long in the league. As rumor has it, McDonald was also fired by Vince Lombardi for showing up late to a team meeting.

What was Ray arrested for? Having fun times in a park with a man in the country’s capital. Apparently, in the 1960s, men could still be arrested for having sexual relations with another man. It is important to note that McDonald was arrested for having sex with a man, not for the public nature of his offense. More information on the discrimination from the police and the decriminalization of gay men having relations can be found here.

Dave Kopay and Jerry Smith

The information on these gentlemen is a bit convoluted. Dave Kopay came out as gay in 1975, the first former player to do so, and wrote a very compelling book about his life, detailing his journey of self-acceptance. Teammates were not aware of his sexuality while he was in the league. Dave describes having to play harder and look tougher so that no one would consider him weak.

Kopay and Smith’s relationship is described differently by Dave at different times. He did say that Lombardi was aware of their “romantic relationship,” and Kopay would say Smith was his first love. However, at another time, Dave said they only had one night of physical connection and became close friends after. Either way, the two had a meaningful relationship that Vince Lombardi supported.

Jerry Smith’s story is a bit harder. Smith did not come out as gay publicly. Jerry really struggled with his identity. Kopay would say that Smith would introduce him to gay bars. It’s important to note that Jerry and Dave would not speak again after Kopay’s book came out, telling the story about his and Smith’s relationship using an alias.

Jerry was in a vulnerable place in society and in the NF. Dave Kopay would say that Lombardi protected and loved Jerry Smith. Allegedly, some teammates did know that he was gay, even while he was in the NFL, but it was very hush hush. Sonny Jurgensen reluctantly said that you couldn’t help but know if you visited Joe Blair’s house when Jerry lived there, which Sonny did.

Smith’s favorite coach ever was Vince Lombardi. Jerry said the same thing twice, once when Lombardi died and again on his death bed: “Every important thing a man searches for in his life, I found in Coach Lombardi. He made us men.”

David Slattery

There’s little information about former Washington GM David Slattery in general. He was a GM for several years in the 1970s. Slattery would publicly come out as gay in 1993.

Joe Blair

Mr. Joe F. Blair was a publicist for the Washington team from 1962 to 1983. Being described as a “bachelor” in his obituary, very little was ever said about his sexuality. It was an open secret of sorts—he never came out as gay. Former Washington player Dave Kopay described him as incredibly closeted. Allegedly, he would get mugged for hiring male sex workers more than once, coming to work with a black eye or looking roughed up.

Honorable mentions go to Washington QB Len Hauss, who was similarly befuddled by racism and homophobia as Vincent Lombardi was. As the symbolic leader of the team, Hauss had no tolerance for ignorance. He confronted a teammate who said a derogatory word for homosexuals, telling him he never wanted to hear that word again. He didn’t have to tell him twice.